Friday Five - the Brain-Hurricane Edition

1.

I don't believe I've mentioned this yet: my edit letter came! About a month ago, actually. It - and the one big revision it called for - have taken over half my life.

On her blog, Claire Legrand has expressed exactly what getting one's edit letter from one's editor feels like - give or take a little angst and one friendly unicorn. Seriously, if you haven't read this post yet, you NEED to. 

Go now. I'll wait. 

2. 

I'm moving one big piece in this manuscript. Doing that has caused a whole bunch of subplots to slide and conversations to collapse and chapters to require general untangling and/or rewriting. 

At this point, the initial panic has worn off. Brain-storming ensued, although word that doesn't quite capture the extent of all the thinking involved. It was more like a Brain-hurricane. My wonderful agent, her insightful assistant, and my fantastic editor have all weighed in on my plans. They also told me that I could handle this, and I remind myself of this frequently. 

I spent days crafting a glorious outline, which I refer to the same way I would refer to a road map on a long journey.  I'm still slowly working through it. 

3.

Because of said outline, I'm not lost in this revision. But pages and pages stretch before me. Many of them must be rewritten. 

I won't lie: It is hard not to feel overwhelmed. It's also hard not to feel like my creative battery is drained all the way to the danger zone.

4. 

So, today, I'm entering the edits I've already finished into my digital copy. 

(I revise every round by hand, btw. It takes longer, but I catch more things.) 

I tend to watch most of my video content (a.k.a. movies and TV shows) while I work, and this is the entertainment-du-jour:

I was led to Pushing Daisies by Stephanie Perkin's recommendation and by a mild infatuation with Lee Pace. (It also helped that my local library had the DVD's ready for checkout.) I stayed because of the quirky-funny Jim Dale narration, the rapidfire dialogue, and Kristen Chenoweth's portrayal of Olive Snook and how she breaks into random song every few episodes. 

If you get a chance, watch and enjoy. Disclaimer: It may make you hungry for pie. Or piemakers. ;-)

5. 

In other revision-related news, I've read a lot of YA recently. 

(Q: How is this revision-related? 

A: I try to avoid middle grade when I'm actively working on my manuscript. 

Q: Why am I reading when I should be revising? 

A: Read this post.)

I am, for instance, newly obsessed with John Green. I'm reading all of his books in the order they were published, because I'm weird like that. 

Looking for Alaska made me weep and break out my Kindle highlighter for the first time. An Abundance of Katherines made swoon and geek out over math. Paper Towns is on deck.

Where Things Come Back also made me FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS. 

But the book I rushed out to buy on release day? The one that kept me up till 3AM two nights in a row? 

I've been waiting for Bitterblue ever since I read a galley of Fire back in 2009. It does not disappoint. Kristen Cashore has said multiple times that it was an intense book to write. It's an intense book to read - and near impossible to put down (see comment re: 3AM). If Where Things Come Back made me feel all the feelings, Bitterblue dredges up emotions I didn't know I had and makes me re-examine my life. In a good way, I think. 

I hope to finish it tonight. Preferably before midnight, so I get a good night's sleep. 

Friday Five - the Healdsburg Edition

No, this is not Healdsburg.

This is a field I saw on the drive over, outside St. Helena, forty minutes away.

I found out recently that the yellow flowers are wild mustard.

Feel free to drool over the pretty. :-P

1. I did a vlog last week, to share two very important pieces of info with you. But I haven't edited it yet, so I can't post it. I will tell you the lesser of the two news bits: The Ever Afters 2 is in!
   
   I felt a little bereft after I sent it. After all, that book has been a major pillar in my life since July, and it feels strange to have it missing.
   
   But Courtney, my talented and savvy editor, has it now. My brain feels loose and free.
   
   
2. This recent relaxation has been nice, but I'm afraid it has resulted in a Cold to End All Colds. Seriously, it's been a while since I've been reduced to a sniffly, coughing, tissue-laden mess. (This may explain why I haven't found the time to edit that vlog.)
   
   Don't worry, my friends. I'm combating it with chicken soup, rest, and my weight in honey-sweetened lemon tea.
   
   
3. This month, I'm living in Healdsburg, CA - which is part of the Russian River wine country. You know Napa? Well, I'm kind of right above it. For cold reasons, I have not yet visited any of the wineries, but I have partaken of the awesome food.
   
   And I've visited the library. Because obviously, that's what I do. They have a cool wine library, full of books on grapes and vintages and history. And a case of old wine-making equipment.
   
   
4. I've realized something recently: I really love books.
   
   You would think that this is obvious, considering that I spend the majority of my days with them, either the reading of books or the writing of books or the revising of books, but it struck me recently, hard and sharp like walking into a ladder you didn't notice (I know exactly what that feels like; I've done it). This love has structured the fabric of my life, enriched it, and comforted it. If I was bereft when I sent The Ever Afters 2 off to Courtney, then life without books would be so much different, so much emptier. Without books, with the words on the page that become stories in the brain and characters in the heart, my life would be hollow.
   
   Is that a terrifying thing? I suppose it is a terrifying thing, to look at it that way. It might even be hyperbolic to some people. But in a weird way, I'm grateful for it. Some people live their whole lives without a passion like mine for books. It's a gift to love something so much.
   
   (Illness and reading have clearly turned me into a contemplative, tissue-laden invalid. :-P)
   
   
5. A couple books I have enjoyed recently (I'm on a YA kick):

Under the Never Sky,

by Veronica Rossi

This is the most hopeful dystopian I've read - ever, I think. It's kind of got that Romeo-and-Juliet/Savage and Sheltered Singer thing going on, but it's also about being alive. Being fully alive, and taking your own destiny back in your hands. The love story gave me tingles.

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer,

by Michelle Hodkin

Paranormal + a teen with post-traumatic stress disorder = a page-turner that seriously keeps you guessing. ALL the clues are there, but you don't trust them. You don't trust them, because Mara doesn't trust her own mind. I was blown away. Like totally stunned, mouth hanging open, desperate for Book 2.

Why We Broke Up,

written by Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket),

Reading this one now, but I just found out it was a Printz Honor book. That made me smiley.

Oh, to have your heart good and thoroughly broken. This is just so gorgeously done - one of the few that depict how the bad things sting after a relationship ends, but it's the good parts you remember that fracture your heart the most. I often come across a passage, and the writing is so good I want to cut it out and keep it forever.

If you've had your heart broken recently, I recommend reading it with tissues.

---

Okay, my friends - I will get that vlog up soon. I'm aiming for Tuesday, but it really depends on my poor muddled head.

Friday Five: Stuff-I-Learned-About-My-(Author)-Self-in-2011 Edition

1. I like to make the same jokes over and over.

In fact, if I'm forced to edit out something funny (usually for space reasons), the joke will usually make it back into the manuscript somewhere. Which, I suppose, completely cancels out the point of cutting it in the first place. Hmm.

Even worse: They make me giggle. Yes, my own jokes.

Thank gumdrops for my agent and editor, who catch all the super unfunny ones and line edit them out for me. Clearly, I can't contain myself. ;-)

2. I write long books. For example, the first draft of Ever Afters #2 is 150,000 words long.

(This may also explain why it took me so long to write the darn thing.)

Backstory is my downfall. I want to give every single character a history. My MC's best friends. My major villain, and my minor villains. The grown-up allies my MC meets and befriends. Even the girlfriend of the MC's father. Seriously, everyone. The tough part is distinguishing what I personally need to know to tell a good story and what the reader actually needs to know to enjoy that aforementioned story.

*ponders*

NOTE: The draft I sent to Jo was in the 135K realm, and we're planning to cut it even shorter than this. So, don't worry - it won't be so long when it reaches the world. :-)

3. I can keep a large-ish middle school-aged audience entertained for at least fifteen minutes.

I did two school visits earlier this winter, and I have to say: I was totally terrified. I mean, first off, public speaking isn't my favorite thing in the world. I remember yawning through a ton of presentations when I was that age, and I didn't think I could handle watching kids get restless as I bored them to death.

So, I overprepared: I wrote outlines. I practiced. I brought props.

And readers, when I presented, I...made them laugh! More than once! (Sometimes, they laughed when I wasn't trying to be funny, but hey, I'll take it. :-P)

This was something I didn't know I could do. (I won't lie: I'm wondering if I've just jinxed myself at this moment. O.o) I don't know if every presentation will go that way, but I'm very grateful the first two went so well. Yaaaay for confidence boosters!

4. I don't know how to handle a compliment, especially one about my books.

I mean, it certainly makes me grin and go all warm and fuzzy on the inside. But the brain inside my head goes completely blank. I never ever know what to say. Sometimes, "Thank you" slips out. If I've had an extra lot of caffeine, I might even stammer, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

But usually, my brain empties itself completely.

This is what you find if you google "an empty brain."

I plan to work on this in 2012. (Not that I expect a whole bunch of compliments in the future. I still chew my nails at the thought of reviews!) And you know what has helped a lot? Phoebe North's great post on the same subject over at YA Highway. Go check it out!

So, if you ever say something nice to me about my books, please know: It's not you. My brain has just short-circuited. :-)

5. I read a lot of books.

You may be shocked by this. I did just blog about how I kept missing deadlines this, after all. But like I mentioned in this post, it's easier for me to keep my brain screwed on straight if I'm reading something else.

The Stats (As of Today)

TOTAL BOOKS READ THIS YEAR: 123.

Only 34% of those books were intended for grown-ups. I obviously love myself some kid's books.

(And only 15 books were nonfiction. We know which genre is not my favorite.)

Unsurprisingly, I read slightly more MG books (51) than YA books (30), and I reread more books this year than last year.

Check back here after tomorrow, and I'll let you know which of those were my favorite reads.

A Quick Update...

Hello, friends! This is just a quick note to tell you that I'm still alive. A very quick note - Friday Five quick.

1. But this wasn't what I started out writing today: I was going to write a Review of the Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making. Then I was going to write a quick meditation on Harry Potter, and What J. K. Rowling and Her Characters Mean to Me and My Generation (yes, I saw the film last weekend).
   
   But today, I'm too restless to concentrate.
   
   
2. My sister returns from France today. She went out there with the intention to stay three months, travel around, and learn some things about life and herself. I'm afraid she also caught bronchitis there. She is now headed home three weeks early, to rest and recuperate and talk to doctors she shares a mother tongue with. She'll arrive around 8PM. Which means that she is probably over the Atlantic right now, coughing up a storm and making her seat-neighbors worry that they'll catch TB or something.
   
   I'm a little worried about her as well. I always forget that she is only fifteen months younger than I am and that she can really take care of herself.
   
   
3. One of my oldest, bestest friends is sitting across from me right now, here at the Barnes & Noble cafe. She is flipping determinedly through the stack of bridal magazines in front of her. She got engaged in April, and the wedding will be in September/October of next year. This weekend, she and her mom goes to Charleston to meet with the wedding planner. We're holding a running commentary on dresses, straps on the bridesmaid dresses, kids to participate in the ceremony, flowers, etc.
   
   Example:
   "I definitely want roses, but not red. I've never been a fan of red roses."
   "They look so...Bachelorette-y."
   
   
   She doesn't know that I took this picture... :-P
   
   (This may explain why I'm having trouble focusing.)
   
   
4. Book 2 is taking over my life. 60% of my reading is research. 87.5% of my brain activity has been consumed with the characters talking in my head, and the chapter they're currently trapped in, and the world they're learning more about, etc. Which means I've become about five million times more absentminded than usual. For example, this morning, getting gas, I had to park about five times, because I kept forgetting what side the gas tank was on. :-/
   
   (This should explain why I've been MIA. It is a good excuse. ("I was writing," is always a good excuse.)
   
   
5. There's just an odd mood over my life, and over the lives of many of the people close to me: we are in transition, or on the move, or in between. It's not bad; it's not good. It's a stew of indefinable mush, where things happen, small unimportant steps in a forward direction, which add up to a big word like Change.
   

Okay, next week, I shall post that review. And if my sister is feeling better, I might drag her to go see Harry Potter - just so that I can see it again. :-P

Journals!

(Ignore the 1.'s below. This started out as a regular Friday Five post, but when the journal idea grew and grew, Blogger didn't want to give up its numbers.)

My agent-sister Linda Benson has a lovely post about journals, and I thought I would give it a go as well.

I didn't always keep a journal, but I always liked the idea of writing in them and feeling all writerly. As a kid, I would start them and then forget them. One, which I started during spring break in third or fourth grade, starts with a detailed and earnest catalog of all the seashells I found on the beach that day, and ends three pages later.

Those are the seashells, fyi - in between my brother, sister, and me.
(I'm the one in the blue nightgown.)

Then, during my senior year of high school, my homeroom teacher made me read Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones and Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, and one of these (not sure which anymore) said that the best way to keep yourself writing was to make sure you always had a journal. Even if you didn't have time to write short stories constantly, or (gasp!) novels, you could put something down on paper and keep your creative juices moving around in the right way without the pressure.

I was quite taken with this idea. Suddenly, I became a dedicated journal carrier, and I haven't ever looked back. I don't know if they actually do help my writing, but they've become a necessity - part confessional, part travelogue, part chronicle of all the changes in my life (even crises that I eventually forget ever happened). I write almost daily, and on days I don't write in them, I feel flat and strange. Re-reading these journals are amazingly helpful when I want to draw on personal experience. I have a terrifically terrible memory, especially for hard times, so rereading my angst helps me recognize ALL of what I felt at that particular moment.

I'll finish my current journal probably in the next week, the same journal I started on the day I started this blog - Thursday, August 20, 2009. Just in case you're wondering why this is an accomplishment, take a look:

1. 1. 
   It's mammoth (500 pages, I think). Here's a side view - each Post-it represents the start of a new month.
   
   
   Inside, the pages are lined like graph paper, so my handwriting ends up being neat and tiny. (This is important. I'm vain about my handwriting.)
   
   
   But it's not all filled with my own notes. Sometimes I cheat and tape in printouts of new discoveries I want to keep.
   
   
   For instance, here is J.K. Rowling's 2008 Harvard Commencement Address, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination." I had heard of this speech, but I hadn't seen or read it. (If you haven't, you SHOULD. She's self-deprecating and inspiring and generally full of awesome.) The handwriting on the side are my comments, ie. personal response.

Okay, I've also gotten smaller, skinnier, and more colorful journals and finished them happily in a few weeks. In fact, this particular kind of journal - which hails from a fancy Spanish stationer, and which I buy from my local chain bookstore - only gets toted around during certain times in my life.

The special events, the big changes, where I want to keep a record of all the transitions in one place, and I know that finishing it, I'm not the same girl-woman/writer/person I was when I began at page one. So far, I've started these behemoths only three times - the first week of studying at Oxford University during junior year of college, the summer after I graduated from college, and most recently, the day I left my job in New York and began life as a writer.

I don't think a lot is going to happen in the next week, so as I glance at the opening pages, I'll just share a few ways I've changed:

1. I'm less terrified and more sure of myself and my path. When I left New York, I wasn't completely positive that I was doing the right thing. The only thing I was sure about was that I couldn't continue the way I was going. Now, the future feels a little less like stumbling in the dark and more like chasing the light at the end of the tunnel.
   
   
2. I know a heck of a lot more about my current writing process, which includes revisions. The last novel I wrote before my current WIPs, I finished in August 2006, and revising those chapters was basically re-reading them for typos. Dedicating myself to turning a first draft into the best novel it can be is totally different. For one thing, it's a lot slower than I thought.
   
   
3. Related to my speed, I am beginning to realize my limitations as a writer. Not so much the quality of my writing, which can only improve and improve, but the volume of work. As it turns out, I can't do everything. Which means, at some point, I'll have to learn to say no - even to myself.
   
   
4. Leaving New York, I had this vision of myself, living alone in a small town and just knocking out huge chunks of work. Now that I made that vision a reality, I realize that it doesn't work. In short spurts, it's hugely productive - that's how I finished two manuscripts in a month. As a lifestyle, I end up tweeting and blogging about the weather, because that's the most exciting thing happening at the time. Living like that long-term (ie. longer than a few months) isn't going to work out.
   
   
5. At first, I called changing my life an act of desperation, but desperation has turned into determination, a daily routine of stubbornness. I haven't yet figured out if this is an improvement or not. I'll let you know after the next journal.

(Wow, look at that - this ended up being a Friday Five after all. :-P)

Friday Five (Take 2)

1. Dear poor neglected blog, I didn't mean to forget about you. I didn't mean to break my New Years Resolution two months in a row. And yet, I have - even though I actually have this sticky note of awesome blog post ideas right here on my printer... Hmm. I'll try to be better about this (but honestly though, it may have to wait until after I finish these revisions). xoxo, S.
   
   
2. A dear college friend stumbled upon my blog (ahem, I mean, she asked and I sent her the link), and she wrote a poem based on the fake title from this post, The World Is Ending and All I Want Is Chocolate. Reading it totally made my day!!
   
   
3. I recently finished Carlos Ruis Zafon's The Shadow of the Wind, which I've been carrying around (unopened and unread) to all my new homes for at least twelve months. Honestly, I'm not sure why it took me so long to read it. Everyone who'd read it recommended it like whoa. Maybe you have to be in a particular mood to read a labyrinthine gothic romance set in Barcelona between 1910 and 1970, but apparently, I was in that mood when I started it last week. Anyway, THIS NOVEL IS FANTASTIC!!! It's actually one of those stories that makes you fall in love with books all over again.
   
   Here's one of my favorite quotes: "Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you." (209)
   
   
4. I've been way into books for grown-ups recently. I don't often read adult novels. (In fact, sometimes I rant about adult novels, rather than read them.) Actually, since I've been keeping track of all the books I've read since last August, I can say with absolute certainly that in the last nine months, only 17% of the books I've read have been aged for adults. :-| (I am a grown-up, I promise. *avoids eye contact with old friends who stare with disbelief*) And a third of those books have been read in the last three weeks.
   
   I'm not completely sure what changed, but I think it might have something to do with revisions. MG or YA books, especially ones with a strong voice, get me back in the mindset of how I need to change such-and-such and move this scene to that chapter and delete that dialogue exchange, so reading them doesn't always feel like R&R (and sometimes makes it hard to sleep, to be honest, after the brain goes on overdrive).
   
   
5. Mainly, I have been working. Desk, living room, kitchen, hair is all in a state of disarray, but otherwise, it isn't all that exciting. No, you don't get a picture of my insane hair. Instead, in honor of Earth Day, I give you a pretty picture of a tree in early early spring:
   

Still Alive for the Friday Five...

I've never done a Friday Five post, but I was in the mood today (ie. feeling very random). So, here we go...

1. Storm. I don't know if anyone caught my tweet yesterday, but I had a harrowing drive back from town yesterday. For serious. It was epic. I actually wasn't sure if I would make it.
   
   The storm came up fast. When I entered the grocery store, it was sixty degrees and sunny. It started to snow just as I stepped back outside. As soon as I turned the ignition, the wind gusts were so strong that they shook the car. By the time I got on the highway, it snowed and blew so hard that you could see only 200 meters or less.
   
   Basically, a white-knuckled drive.
   
   Luckily, though, I outran/drove the storm. It was warmer and only sprinkling in the mountains. I thought I was safe.
   
   Unfortunately, the storm caught back up with me when I turned up the mountain I live on. It actually got a little scarier, because for one thing, there's the drop on the side of the highway...which I actually couldn't see since it was so high up that I was driving IN the clouds. Visibility was down to 50 meters, and the traffic crawled at thirty mph. The snow melted on the windshield and froze again, which didn't help me see any better. Once the car started to skid, but I corrected it.
   
   
   Actual visibility through windshield right before I turned into my neighborhood.
   Q: Can you find the oncoming traffic?
   (And why don't they have their lights on??)
   
   
   So, I totally made it back alive. Then I sat down (shaking a little, actually) and freewrote all my feelings/sensations so that I could use it in my manuscript. I even had a scene in mind, where my main character fights off seven dragons and then gets chased by a Giant. :-P
   
   
2. How to Train Your Dragon. I loved this movie! LOVED it! It totally got me in the mood for a pet dragon of my own. (Sadly, that won't work for obvious reasons.) Then it got me in the mood to make sure my main character got to ride dragons. (Unfortunately, that won't work either - my main character has a pretty intense fear of heights, and she also engages in that aforementioned dragon-slaying.) Hmm. Will just have to settle for loving the movie, and possibly, purchasing it when it comes out.
   
   
3. Shopping. I actually went to town for supplies, ie. groceries and one book. I came back with seven books (gasp! I know, but the used bookstore I visited actually had a bunch of books I wanted.). And also, gigantic binder clips.
   
   
   I've been pining after them for a long, long time. When I was an editorial assistant, we literally had hundreds of them floating around the office. They're the only clip big enough to hold a whole manuscript together. I didn't think I would miss them, but recently, I've been swimming in so many loose papers (ie. manuscripts and drafts of said manuscripts) that I went and bought some of my very own. It is indicative of my nerdiness how happy they make me. Yay!
   
   
4. The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures, ie. one of the seven books I bought yesterday. I found it in the bargain section of B&N, and while flipping through, I found this entry:
   

   DOBIE/DOBBY
   
   A British house fairy, known mostly in the north of England, and as others of its kind, it likes to help human beings. They particularly like to join in with the kind of tasks undertaken by labourers, and are sometimes given the job of guarding treasure. However, the Dobie is not known for its wisdom, and often makes ridiculous mistakes or is easily confused. In parts of West Yorkshire, the name Dobby is applied to an evil fairy who leaps on the backs of unsuspecting travelers on horseback and garrottes them. Today, the Dobie is best known for its appearance in the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling, where it generally assumes the role of a helpful but not very bright companion to the young wizard. (136)

   I had no idea Dobby (the house-elf who first appeared in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) was based on legend. Obviously, I had to buy the book - to find out more awesome tidbits that prove how amazing J.K. Rowling is. And also, possibly, to expand my own knowledge of magical creatures. (I knew soooo many when I was in elementary school - from reading similar encyclopedias. I'm not sure what happened.)
   
   
5. Merlin (BBC). How have I not heard about this show until now? (Possibly, because I've been on a mountain cabin without cable for months now.) I just randomly discovered the whole first season on Hulu earlier this week.
   
   It's a BBC series where Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Guinevere, and Lancelot are all about seventeen or so, and Arthur's dad, King Uther, has outlawed magic. So, while working as Arthur's servant, Merlin has to hide his magic, get Arthur out of scrapes, and basically save Arthur's life all the time while other people get the credit.
   
   And yes, it totally throws me off that the actor that plays Rupert Giles (ie. Buffy's Watcher) also plays King Uther.
   
   The banter (and friendship) between Merlin and Arthur is one of my favorite parts, but better than that, the show delves into destiny a lot, ie. knowing that you might be destined to be great someday - but meanwhile, you're still making a lot of mistakes right now. (Actually, it has a lot of similarities to my main character's dilemma.)

Hmmm. I wonder if Friday Fives are usually so long.... Oh, well.

Happy weekend!!